Things are becoming more and more difficult to understand now-a-days.I'm becoming more and more difficult for others to handle. But how can I help it when even I'm not sure of what I want or look forward to?!
I do believe that there are people out there, who have also faced the same sane-insane vagaries of life. If this is true, then even they would be super confused too. So,how do they deal with it?? Ummm..Just guessing!!
It is always easy when you yourself are not involved in any problem or you are just a third party where you can pass a reasonable judgement or advice to someone to deal with it. But!! When you find yourself amidst it, all your powers of reason take a toss. You just can think wisely or decide what is best for you.
It is at these times that I realize what 'patience' actually means and how much courage it takes to have faith in it. "You just need to wait long enough for things to settle in place and then everything will be crystal clear and make perfect sense."
This is what I have always done when things are messed up big time and there is no way out. That is how I will be dealing with things, now too. So, all those who are bugged up and tired of my sad and confused talks or who have given up the idea of understanding me, trust me please. Give me some time and I will be back with the cheery face and all time happy side of me.
P.S. - My writings are sad or gloomy because I want to write and throw out all negative feelings. Happy blogs are rare from me because I live through the happy times and want to keep them with me. So, please bear even if you feel bad about this side of me. I won't be doing that for long!
PINKY PROMISE ;)
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Deal with it!
Growing up was easy when we were kids.
You could bang someone's head and fight with your friend's if they didn't play with you. There was no time for attachments, no use of brain or heart and no creepy feeling of being left alone. I always found someone new and much more happening then. And then the games went on and on.
Years pass by and I'm busy saying goodbyes to my friends, hoping to meet them sometime some - place. Why do changes always have to be this way.
It is the worst kind of feeling when you that the people you like best will not be visibly there for you always. You will have to bear the heart aches, cut your attachment with them and leave them to get your life going.
This has happened with me so many times now and I'm still not used to it. I just wish that I could rush back to all those times, be there, hold on to them and have all the gala times back. Sigh!
You could bang someone's head and fight with your friend's if they didn't play with you. There was no time for attachments, no use of brain or heart and no creepy feeling of being left alone. I always found someone new and much more happening then. And then the games went on and on.
Years pass by and I'm busy saying goodbyes to my friends, hoping to meet them sometime some - place. Why do changes always have to be this way.
It is the worst kind of feeling when you that the people you like best will not be visibly there for you always. You will have to bear the heart aches, cut your attachment with them and leave them to get your life going.
This has happened with me so many times now and I'm still not used to it. I just wish that I could rush back to all those times, be there, hold on to them and have all the gala times back. Sigh!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
10..9..8..7..Take a deep breath!
I had overheard some guy saying - "She is a girl..She was bound to make it through the interview." And then he said - "All girls are the same.." I made it a point to shout at him and tell him - "Boss..Do tell this to your wife, with whom you are not even able to utter a single word..And here you are behaving like a King showing off your male chauvinistic attitude. Let's just see how great you are, in your life, with that kind of attitude."
I used to bury myself in the pillow to curb the disastrous sonic when I failed to succeed in anything. I mean, how is it possible when you do everthing right and still things don't go your way?!
Me and my friend fought for continuous hours just to prove our points.
I have seen some people cleverly concealing their true intentions or their true self and I used to get real pissed off.
I met another typical flirt and I wished to punch his guts out and tell him..."Boss, You or your charming ways are nothing new to me. You wish to save your life, better run on the marathon track. And don't you dare mess with me."
Arrghhh....
Typical incidents of my life..where I was brimming with ANGER and found no way out except for figthing back or shouting in a lone room, till my anger cooled off. With the kind of temper I have had, I was always pissed off at something or the other. At first this anger was only meant for the deserving ones but later as it became a habit..I found no way out. I used to get frustated and angry at small things and then brood over my choice of sharp words.."I shouldn't have said that or this..or anything..".
The guilt period after my anger cooled off was much much longer than I imagined even if the other person was wrong. I always thought.."There must be better way of handling things than getting angry and losing control." I hate being out of control. Even my friend's started telling me - "Maybe you are right at times but if you can just be mild in what you say..It would be really great." So, that was it..
I decided that I had to get rid of this temper tantrum. Someone suggested meditation..but with kind of busy state of mind I have..it was impossible. Counting numbers to cool down your anger or any such trick was of no result. I then came upon a book on anger management around 4 years back. I know people would never agree that books can help in any such case but still I thought of giving it a try. And believe me it has worked wonders for me..curbing around 70% of my short temper problem. This book had some very basic facts and things to ponder upon and no special techinques were required to implement them -
We get angry -
When someone has a different view point than ours and is not ready to listen.
Remedy - Always remember the other person is not always wrong. Put yourself in his/her shoes and just learn to appreciate the different opinions of people around you.
We get angry -
When we feel cheated.
Remedy - Try to be extra generous and good with that person and have pity on him/her. Someday or the other, he/she is bound to understand to his/her mistake and will repent. And even if that does not happen, God is there to watch out in time. Forgive and forget. Always wish the best for them..coz what you reap is what you sow.
We get angry -
When things don't go as planned.
Remedy - Be patient, that's the key. Watch out for the master plan which life has in store for us. Just live the present moment and expect nothing less than best in future. Accept the gifts of life happily.
We get angry -
When someone is a hypocrite or is playing games.
Remedy - Try to outsmart that person by reasonable actions and not words. There is no point arguing with such people. Get into his shoes and understand his/her mentality and then just surprise him/her. You can always outsmart people this way.
We get angry -
When we are blamed for something we have not done or we had the best intentions in doing it.
Remedy - If you are at mistake, accept. If not, then don't shout. Just wait for things to settle and give proofs rather than verbal logic. If he/she undertands then well and good. If not then, why should you give a damn when you know you are right.
One more thing, people will never be willing to listen to you when you shout or when you say harsh words. Before telling it out to them, just see, how you feel when you listen to whatever you were going to say.
So, that's the basic funda..talk slowly, echo your words in your mind and learn to forgive even before someone asks for it. Well.. who knows..this will even boost your ego. :D
I have been trying this all out and it has really worked for me except for some minor havocs. Give it a try if you are also having same.
I used to bury myself in the pillow to curb the disastrous sonic when I failed to succeed in anything. I mean, how is it possible when you do everthing right and still things don't go your way?!
Me and my friend fought for continuous hours just to prove our points.
I have seen some people cleverly concealing their true intentions or their true self and I used to get real pissed off.
I met another typical flirt and I wished to punch his guts out and tell him..."Boss, You or your charming ways are nothing new to me. You wish to save your life, better run on the marathon track. And don't you dare mess with me."
Arrghhh....
Typical incidents of my life..where I was brimming with ANGER and found no way out except for figthing back or shouting in a lone room, till my anger cooled off. With the kind of temper I have had, I was always pissed off at something or the other. At first this anger was only meant for the deserving ones but later as it became a habit..I found no way out. I used to get frustated and angry at small things and then brood over my choice of sharp words.."I shouldn't have said that or this..or anything..".
The guilt period after my anger cooled off was much much longer than I imagined even if the other person was wrong. I always thought.."There must be better way of handling things than getting angry and losing control." I hate being out of control. Even my friend's started telling me - "Maybe you are right at times but if you can just be mild in what you say..It would be really great." So, that was it..
I decided that I had to get rid of this temper tantrum. Someone suggested meditation..but with kind of busy state of mind I have..it was impossible. Counting numbers to cool down your anger or any such trick was of no result. I then came upon a book on anger management around 4 years back. I know people would never agree that books can help in any such case but still I thought of giving it a try. And believe me it has worked wonders for me..curbing around 70% of my short temper problem. This book had some very basic facts and things to ponder upon and no special techinques were required to implement them -
We get angry -
When someone has a different view point than ours and is not ready to listen.
Remedy - Always remember the other person is not always wrong. Put yourself in his/her shoes and just learn to appreciate the different opinions of people around you.
We get angry -
When we feel cheated.
Remedy - Try to be extra generous and good with that person and have pity on him/her. Someday or the other, he/she is bound to understand to his/her mistake and will repent. And even if that does not happen, God is there to watch out in time. Forgive and forget. Always wish the best for them..coz what you reap is what you sow.
We get angry -
When things don't go as planned.
Remedy - Be patient, that's the key. Watch out for the master plan which life has in store for us. Just live the present moment and expect nothing less than best in future. Accept the gifts of life happily.
We get angry -
When someone is a hypocrite or is playing games.
Remedy - Try to outsmart that person by reasonable actions and not words. There is no point arguing with such people. Get into his shoes and understand his/her mentality and then just surprise him/her. You can always outsmart people this way.
We get angry -
When we are blamed for something we have not done or we had the best intentions in doing it.
Remedy - If you are at mistake, accept. If not, then don't shout. Just wait for things to settle and give proofs rather than verbal logic. If he/she undertands then well and good. If not then, why should you give a damn when you know you are right.
One more thing, people will never be willing to listen to you when you shout or when you say harsh words. Before telling it out to them, just see, how you feel when you listen to whatever you were going to say.
So, that's the basic funda..talk slowly, echo your words in your mind and learn to forgive even before someone asks for it. Well.. who knows..this will even boost your ego. :D
I have been trying this all out and it has really worked for me except for some minor havocs. Give it a try if you are also having same.
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