Gana ae ya na ae..Gana chaiye..wo bhi dil se!

I have been listening to some odd varieties of many-a-songs these days, some from good albums, some suggested by friends and some making a direct connection with the heart.
It’s strange how soulful songs have an immediate effect on the ‘chemical locha’ in your brain and can have a solid impact on the feelings of your heart. I was just wondering how..

You just catch a glimpse of someone and you feel that you have known him/her forever. In the background, some beautiful melodious instrumental will start playing and your feelings take a home-run. That’s what I assume to be the perfect definition of love at first sight. When you are in love, even the slightest of romantic music gives you a kick. You hear the name of that person in every beautiful song. You will even end up bothering people around by playing the same songs over and over again but that one person never seems to understand. Really sad!
Some examples I can relate to:
Kaun hai wo ladki..rehti hai wo kaha..
Is deewane ladke ko koi samjae..
Kuch to hua hai..Kuch ho gaya hai..

When breakups happen, you will actually hear a crashing sound. Such cases you will revert to the saddest possible gazals and relate to them for all good reasons. :D
Some hilarious ones:
Deewaro se milkar rona acha lagta hai…hum bhi pagal ho jaenge aisa lagta hai..
Chupke chupke raat din ansu bahana yad hai…

When you are unable to express guilt or ask for forgiveness from someone when he/ she is not ready to listen, you start talking to yourself with the song lyrics as a medium. You will try to bug that person also by cajoling him/her to listen to the song. It's your luck then if the other person really understands what you have been trying to convey so indirectly.
Don’t even remember when these songs were released..:
Humse ka bhool hui jo ye saza humka mili…
Daddi amma daddi amma maan jao…(pretty old ..hmmhh..)

Actually I think there is a better way of using songs in any given situation:
Just sit in front of GOD and play some bhajan or whatever song you will want the others to listen. Maybe God will understand your feelings and do something about or he might enjoy the song as well. (What say bhagwanji?? :) )

Wat are you hiding?!

Sometimes you wish that your deepest secrets be buried real deep, in the depths of your heart..because you know that you can never explain or reason them out to others. You know that it will give you and your loved ones less pain if you just shut yourself up. This is what I call one kind of selfishness where you want to save others from your burden, by hiding things. You just want to see them happy with the smallest of lies.

But then your guilt feeling drives you to tell them the hidden truths which in my opinion is another variety of selfishness. This way you end up relieving yourself but you forget that others will have to bear that burden now.

So, what should you do??
The first option is a safe option where you know that the only person getting hurt is you. Others may get hurt for now but it better to save them from the worst.
The second is an option where everyone is bound to get hurt but with a relief factor, that you are free of all burdens in your heart.

At every point of your life, you will have to choose one of the above even if you are not very sure..Well only time will decide that for you.
For now...I'm just sure of one fact and living it through-
"Some things are best left unsaid.."

Go Fat and round! guyz! ;)

‘Marriage’ - The hot topic of the season, is now on almost all my friend’s or their parent's top priority list, in case they are not hitched yet. Most of us who have no idea of what it will be like or how the spouses will be, go on and on, discussing the dilemmas and the uncertainties revolving around the subject. There are also some who know about it and even have their best match but then, there are other uncertainties surrounding it. Anyways, the point I’m making here is.. It’s not only me who has been so low in spirits about this marriage thing, but there are others too.

Whom should I share my questions with, when I know the other person is also in the same water? I mean nothing bad meant for anybody but just a long wait before I can see their happy duplicate faces around me. Life is hard for everyone at some point or the other. I just can’t stop laughing about it now.

‘Logo ka gum dekha to me apna gum bhool gai!’

p.s. - About the ‘duplicate faces‘ thing – I have heard this from many people that when the boy and the girl marry, they start looking alike after sometime.
The only reason which I could guess to justify this was - Both of them get fat and round since they are happy and …round faces are all the same.. Just kidding guys.. Cheer up!

Flip Sides!

I am staring at the blank space out of the window.. millions of thoughts cloud my mind. The intensity of the piercing wind magnifies their effect on me.

I am intimidated by the fact that there are some people who never seem to understand what you mean, however hard you try to tell them or maybe you even stop telling them when you get tired. Even years or acquaintance with them would never suffice to make them acknowledge the fact that your intentions were always good. So, I have given up trying with such people and left it all to God. If he is doing it then he will make it right too, in his on time and his own way.

Then.. There are some people whom you meet for the first time or even talk just once.. and you feel the instant connection or what I call the miraculous mental match. These are the people who always have faith in you much more than you have in yourself. They will always stand by you no matter what happens. It’s because of these people that all my fears and uncertainties just vanish in thin air. My life seems so much more beautiful since I have known a lot of them…

Two flip sides of the coin called Life!

Senseless Crabby me!

Things are becoming more and more difficult to understand now-a-days.I'm becoming more and more difficult for others to handle. But how can I help it when even I'm not sure of what I want or look forward to?!

I do believe that there are people out there, who have also faced the same sane-insane vagaries of life. If this is true, then even they would be super confused too. So,how do they deal with it?? Ummm..Just guessing!!

It is always easy when you yourself are not involved in any problem or you are just a third party where you can pass a reasonable judgement or advice to someone to deal with it. But!! When you find yourself amidst it, all your powers of reason take a toss. You just can think wisely or decide what is best for you.

It is at these times that I realize what 'patience' actually means and how much courage it takes to have faith in it. "You just need to wait long enough for things to settle in place and then everything will be crystal clear and make perfect sense."

This is what I have always done when things are messed up big time and there is no way out. That is how I will be dealing with things, now too. So, all those who are bugged up and tired of my sad and confused talks or who have given up the idea of understanding me, trust me please. Give me some time and I will be back with the cheery face and all time happy side of me.

P.S. - My writings are sad or gloomy because I want to write and throw out all negative feelings. Happy blogs are rare from me because I live through the happy times and want to keep them with me. So, please bear even if you feel bad about this side of me. I won't be doing that for long!

PINKY PROMISE ;)

Deal with it!

Growing up was easy when we were kids.
You could bang someone's head and fight with your friend's if they didn't play with you. There was no time for attachments, no use of brain or heart and no creepy feeling of being left alone. I always found someone new and much more happening then. And then the games went on and on.

Years pass by and I'm busy saying goodbyes to my friends, hoping to meet them sometime some - place. Why do changes always have to be this way.

It is the worst kind of feeling when you that the people you like best will not be visibly there for you always. You will have to bear the heart aches, cut your attachment with them and leave them to get your life going.

This has happened with me so many times now and I'm still not used to it. I just wish that I could rush back to all those times, be there, hold on to them and have all the gala times back. Sigh!

10..9..8..7..Take a deep breath!

I had overheard some guy saying - "She is a girl..She was bound to make it through the interview." And then he said - "All girls are the same.." I made it a point to shout at him and tell him - "Boss..Do tell this to your wife, with whom you are not even able to utter a single word..And here you are behaving like a King showing off your male chauvinistic attitude. Let's just see how great you are, in your life, with that kind of attitude."

I used to bury myself in the pillow to curb the disastrous sonic when I failed to succeed in anything. I mean, how is it possible when you do everthing right and still things don't go your way?!

Me and my friend fought for continuous hours just to prove our points.

I have seen some people cleverly concealing their true intentions or their true self and I used to get real pissed off.

I met another typical flirt and I wished to punch his guts out and tell him..."Boss, You or your charming ways are nothing new to me. You wish to save your life, better run on the marathon track. And don't you dare mess with me."
Arrghhh....

Typical incidents of my life..where I was brimming with ANGER and found no way out except for figthing back or shouting in a lone room, till my anger cooled off. With the kind of temper I have had, I was always pissed off at something or the other. At first this anger was only meant for the deserving ones but later as it became a habit..I found no way out. I used to get frustated and angry at small things and then brood over my choice of sharp words.."I shouldn't have said that or this..or anything..".

The guilt period after my anger cooled off was much much longer than I imagined even if the other person was wrong. I always thought.."There must be better way of handling things than getting angry and losing control." I hate being out of control. Even my friend's started telling me - "Maybe you are right at times but if you can just be mild in what you say..It would be really great." So, that was it..

I decided that I had to get rid of this temper tantrum. Someone suggested meditation..but with kind of busy state of mind I have..it was impossible. Counting numbers to cool down your anger or any such trick was of no result. I then came upon a book on anger management around 4 years back. I know people would never agree that books can help in any such case but still I thought of giving it a try. And believe me it has worked wonders for me..curbing around 70% of my short temper problem. This book had some very basic facts and things to ponder upon and no special techinques were required to implement them -

We get angry -
When someone has a different view point than ours and is not ready to listen.
Remedy - Always remember the other person is not always wrong. Put yourself in his/her shoes and just learn to appreciate the different opinions of people around you.

We get angry -
When we feel cheated.
Remedy - Try to be extra generous and good with that person and have pity on him/her. Someday or the other, he/she is bound to understand to his/her mistake and will repent. And even if that does not happen, God is there to watch out in time. Forgive and forget. Always wish the best for them..coz what you reap is what you sow.

We get angry -
When things don't go as planned.
Remedy - Be patient, that's the key. Watch out for the master plan which life has in store for us. Just live the present moment and expect nothing less than best in future. Accept the gifts of life happily.

We get angry -
When someone is a hypocrite or is playing games.
Remedy - Try to outsmart that person by reasonable actions and not words. There is no point arguing with such people. Get into his shoes and understand his/her mentality and then just surprise him/her. You can always outsmart people this way.

We get angry -
When we are blamed for something we have not done or we had the best intentions in doing it.
Remedy - If you are at mistake, accept. If not, then don't shout. Just wait for things to settle and give proofs rather than verbal logic. If he/she undertands then well and good. If not then, why should you give a damn when you know you are right.

One more thing, people will never be willing to listen to you when you shout or when you say harsh words. Before telling it out to them, just see, how you feel when you listen to whatever you were going to say.

So, that's the basic funda..talk slowly, echo your words in your mind and learn to forgive even before someone asks for it. Well.. who knows..this will even boost your ego. :D

I have been trying this all out and it has really worked for me except for some minor havocs. Give it a try if you are also having same.